Klara's Story

“… accessing our higher consciousness potential through tapping into our natural heart-intelligence in the coming years while staying grounded on the planet that we have chosen to inhabit this time round”.

I can’t say that I had been particularly successful in achieving this state – I tended to be steered by my feelings and got carried away by spiritual energies and as a result,  just used to drift off, as in the following example:

Woke up really early on Sunday morning and started to meditate;  ended up in the twighlight zone  of this half awake-/ sleepy- dreamlike state. Every issue I had been dealing with lately somehow got mixed in there and I (?) sensed myself in a position somewhere above my head, in free suspension.

Several tubes extended from this position in a starlike fashion, each carrying its own theme. My current Job;  going back to being a naturopath; my financial situation – where??? (Berlin/Spain/The Netherlands ???) 2. My relationship with  Michell in Holland – how can it continue? Is it about the great love or not???? – How can we be closer?? Is there a perspective for us???

3.  Willi’s death;  --  I had been  able to  support him well and we had made our peace  – but his energies are trying to interfere from above. 4. The different inner processes of resolution/ transformation and  integration over the last few months – the new that is not yet entirely stable; the old that insists on resurfacing time and again. I feel insecure – what on earth am I to do? Fear – where will all this take me; will it be OK;  what can I do?

At this moment everything feels blended into one mix and I feel like in the middle of an emotional/ spiritual whirlpool. I slide into one of the tubes, get sucked out of it again, then it starts with the next tube, and so it goes.

To my right, on another plane, Gabriele suddenly appears and I ask what I should do. She says certain things but I am unable to extricate myself from this muddle. Then an image appears, it looks like an unfinished painting, I can’t describe it, but I recognize it later, but there’s more for now:

I finally do wake up and feel in a state of panic; I can just confirm that I am indeed in my apartment and that I must have been travelling outside of my body once again……..

I barely manage to call Gabriele who is at home fortunately -- and lives next door. Now in her apartment,  I tell her about my experience and after a while she comes back with an image that she had been in the process of painting while I went through these different “states”. As I look at the image, I am swamped with intense feelings and I break into tears – even now at this moment , a couple of months after the event --  as I am pulling out my notes and memories and am reliving the experiences while writing them down in more detail. Right now this feeling is both like a longing for “home” , but at the same time also one of great love; of a love that is flowing from everywhere.

Gabriele reminds me of the need to be well grounded at such times and “in charge” of myself during such experiences, while staying soft and open on the heart level. A few days later  in a coaching session for the purpose of further integrating this profound experience, Gabriele refers to her IH model which I was already familiar with from earlier occasions.  I arrive at a new understanding about the way in which I can take responsibility for my love /emotions and the way in which it is safe for my Inner Child to experience these feeling states.

Gabriele guides me through a number of different processes and points to the powerful position of the Adapted Persona whose antics feel like a fuming cauldron inside of me  -- which quality of feeling am I actually avoiding at this moment? I manage to enter into great emotional depths, making the contact with my Inner Child and after a process of great intensity, am finally able to really release my deceased husband. Now he was able to move on in the spirit realm – to both of our great relief about this profound act of letting go.

I was then able to also release my Dutch boyfriend – he is now free to follow his own decisions in freedom: regarding his own emotional truths, our relationship, and whatever it is that he really wants.

Before that I had also released mum and dad and arrived at the point of unconditional love towards them. I told them both that I was in charge of myself now and that I was now connected to the energy of my creator and that I will be living my life in service to this connectedness from this time onward. I could see that mum was happy  that this moment had finally arrived, while dad was still coming to terms with this new experience.

While writing all of this, the intense feelings are coming over me again – but this time the feeling is one of freedom and the fullness of love and there is warmth and softness in my heart. By the end of the session I have created a base/ a frame for myself and feel more deeply connected to my Inner Child with a sense of: “I will always be there for you, whatever happens, and I will deal with any issues while you can feel safe and carried through any difficulties.”

I am repeating the grounding exercise on a daily basis now. A gigantic tree trunk runs through my entire body, and underneath the soles of my feet there are powerful, healthy roots growing deeply into the ground below me. Far above my head the tree branches out and there are many fresh light green leaves waving in the wind……..

The realistic perspective on my current state of affairs is this:  I have regained clarity on a number of interconnected issues in my life and I am grateful for this process. I am already looking forward  to my next “spiritual experience” that I will be able to meet with my Inner Child in a good state of groundedness, love and openheartedness for myself, while staying consciously in charge at the same time!!!!   

Klara’s story is also part of the Dynamic Book Project and will be available in the printed book version with Gabriele’s comments.